Jarnmegduss is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, boastful fox.

Jarnmegduss created humankind seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Jarnmegduss, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Jarnmegduss, she will turn you into a rat.

Jarnmegduss' most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Jarnmegduss' Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. You must never eat bananas.

3. Always help frogs.

4. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

5. Do not stand on grass.