Yartcamlatjab is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, deceitful yak.

Yartcamlatjab created the world two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yartcamlatjab, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Yartcamlatjab, she will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Yartcamlatjab's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Yartcamlatjab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear brown clothing.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Yartcamlatjab.

3. Do not dye your hair red.

4. Do not kill great tits.

5. Fast once a month.