Jadpadqueeg is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, overgenerous bat.

Jadpadqueeg created the Virgo Supercluster six million years ago.

If you believe in Jadpadqueeg, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Jadpadqueeg, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Jadpadqueeg's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Jadpadqueeg's Holy Commandments

1. Never laugh in holy places.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Jadpadqueeg loves grasshopers, so they must be honoured.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Jadpadqueeg.