Flabjarnstrag is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, self-assured guinea pig.

Flabjarnstrag created the planet Jupiter two million years ago.

If you believe in Flabjarnstrag, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Flabjarnstrag, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Flabjarnstrag's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Flabjarnstrag's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate snails.

2. Never write about comets.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Always wear pink.

5. Erect a large platinum sculpture of Flabjarnstrag on top of all buildings.