Kopzimmisnilbatdadkop is a god.

She takes the form of a small, unjust swan.

Kopzimmisnilbatdadkop created humanity nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Kopzimmisnilbatdadkop, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Kopzimmisnilbatdadkop, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Kopzimmisnilbatdadkop's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Kopzimmisnilbatdadkop's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat spinach.

2. Kopzimmisnilbatdadkop loves cats, so they must be respected.

3. Do not wear purple clothing.

4. Always help squirrels.

5. Do not shave your face.