Jopbitstip is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, happy horse.

Jopbitstip created everything that exists two billion years ago.

If you believe in Jopbitstip, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Jopbitstip, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Jopbitstip's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Jopbitstip's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of silicon.

4. Pray towards the west.

5. Never look in ponds.