Flatfeddap is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, uncaring manatee.

Flatfeddap created the planet Jupiter nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flatfeddap, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Flatfeddap, he will torture you forever.

Flatfeddap's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Flatfeddap's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about cell theory.

2. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

3. Grasshopers are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Flatfeddap.

5. Never wear boots.