Yamciplarg is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, humorless crow.

Yamciplarg created dark energy six billion years ago.

If you believe in Yamciplarg, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Yamciplarg, he will jump up and down on your head.

Yamciplarg's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Yamciplarg's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured manatees.

2. Never talk about cats.

3. Do not speak about peas.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate geese.

5. Never run in holy places.