Quamlidpom is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, uncaring zebra.

Quamlidpom created energy nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Quamlidpom, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Quamlidpom, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Quamlidpom's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Quamlidpom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat peas.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Always obey Quamlidpom's priests.