Bambemhak Watrawrull is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, humane jaguar.

Bambemhak Watrawrull created a bottom quark five million years ago.

If you believe in Bambemhak Watrawrull, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Bambemhak Watrawrull, it will torture you forever.

Bambemhak Watrawrull's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Bambemhak Watrawrull's Holy Commandments

1. Never sit in the presence of whales.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. You must pray to Bambemhak Watrawrull eight times a day.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Never write about cell theory.