Xenpakrig is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, unselfish zebra.

Xenpakrig created dark matter nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Xenpakrig, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Xenpakrig, she will turn you into a sheep.

Xenpakrig's most sacred site is Manamedu in India.

Xenpakrig's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.

2. Run away from green whales, for they are unholy.

3. Always treat snails with great respect.

4. Always help sharks.

5. Do not wear black clothing.