Botcubpak is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, unsympathetic hedgehog.

Botcubpak created vertebrates six million years ago.

If you believe in Botcubpak, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Botcubpak, it will be very unhappy.

Botcubpak's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Botcubpak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Do not wear platinum on your body.

3. Never paint your neck yellow.

4. Always help snakes in need.

5. Never write about the weak nuclear force.