Mutbathamtonk is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, emotional penguin.

Mutbathamtonk created an up quark seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Mutbathamtonk, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Mutbathamtonk, he will turn you into a worm.

Mutbathamtonk's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Mutbathamtonk's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick doves.

2. You must love Mutbathamtonk.

3. Feed all hungry bats.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Never think about the strong nuclear force.