Dissnadkem is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, humorless hamster.

Dissnadkem created dark energy six billion years ago.

If you believe in Dissnadkem, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Dissnadkem, she will turn you into a frog.

Dissnadkem's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Dissnadkem's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear trousers.

2. Never hurt tortoises.

3. Always help eagles in need.

4. Hide from brown badgers for they are unholy.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.