Hotpodxuck is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, charitable goose.

Hotpodxuck created a Higgs boson three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hotpodxuck, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Hotpodxuck, he will turn you into a sheep.

Hotpodxuck's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Hotpodxuck's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

2. Do not eat carrots.

3. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

4. You must pray to Hotpodxuck five times a day.

5. Never talk about moons.