Cubtonbadnutt is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, benevolent bear.

Cubtonbadnutt created the planet Mars five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cubtonbadnutt, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Cubtonbadnutt, he will come to you in dreams.

Cubtonbadnutt's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Cubtonbadnutt's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair pink.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Never wear white skirts.

4. Run away if three great tits approach from the south.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of nickel.