Nartjigmut Botsakvonk Aflathon is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, sapient mole.

Nartjigmut Botsakvonk Aflathon created Asia nine million years ago.

If you believe in Nartjigmut Botsakvonk Aflathon, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Nartjigmut Botsakvonk Aflathon, he will destroy your favourite solar system.

Nartjigmut Botsakvonk Aflathon's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Nartjigmut Botsakvonk Aflathon's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Nartjigmut Botsakvonk Aflathon.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate cats.

3. Always treat foxes with great respect.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Nartjigmut Botsakvonk Aflathon.