Nelyamhin is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, blissful seal.

Nelyamhin created dark energy twelve years ago.

If you believe in Nelyamhin, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Nelyamhin, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Nelyamhin's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Nelyamhin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Nelyamhin's name in vain.

2. Pray towards the east.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Do not speak about bananas.