Queegflatxin is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, almighty lizard.

Queegflatxin created humankind three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Queegflatxin, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Queegflatxin, he will turn you into a mouse.

Queegflatxin's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Queegflatxin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat peas.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Never mention mites.

5. Queegflatxin loves ducks, so they must be honoured.