Farngamfem is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, benevolent wolf.

Farngamfem created a Higgs boson seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Farngamfem, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Farngamfem, it will manifest in front of you.

Farngamfem's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Farngamfem's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Never run in the presence of whales.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Never pour water over plants.