Koncabsat is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, selfish porpoise.

Koncabsat created parasitic wasps eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Koncabsat, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Koncabsat, it will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Koncabsat's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Koncabsat's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Never wear gray corsets.

3. Never wear kilts.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. You must never eat wheat.