Safteengendit is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, impressive manatee.

Safteengendit created Asia eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Safteengendit, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Safteengendit, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Safteengendit's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Safteengendit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill snails.

2. Never look at asteroids.

3. Never write about nebulae.

4. Never paint your neck green.

5. Never think about cell theory.