Sitfatstig is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, thoughtless squirrel.

Sitfatstig created snails twelve years ago.

If you believe in Sitfatstig, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Sitfatstig, she will turn you into a hamster.

Sitfatstig's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Sitfatstig's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate frogs.

2. Hide if five ducks approach from the south.

3. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

4. Do not eat cherries.

5. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.