Kaphoggensagfedfonwondot Quimtamlab is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, caring human.

Kaphoggensagfedfonwondot Quimtamlab created parasitic wasps eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kaphoggensagfedfonwondot Quimtamlab, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Kaphoggensagfedfonwondot Quimtamlab, she will turn you into a rock.

Kaphoggensagfedfonwondot Quimtamlab's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Kaphoggensagfedfonwondot Quimtamlab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear red clothing.

2. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

3. Feed all hungry hamsters.

4. Never feed peanuts to pigs while wearing green corsets.

5. Squirrels are not to be trusted.