Dotyatgad is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, humane bear.

Dotyatgad created the Sol system three million years ago.

If you believe in Dotyatgad, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Dotyatgad, he will throw large rocks at you.

Dotyatgad's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Dotyatgad's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate hamsters.

2. You must pray to Dotyatgad eight times a day.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate turtles.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.
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