Hottengar is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, weak capybara.

Hottengar created Mount Everest three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hottengar, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Hottengar, she will turn you into a small brown duck.

Hottengar's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Hottengar's Holy Commandments

1. Never sing near dolphins.

2. Always wear indigo.

3. Always obey Hottengar's priests.

4. Hottengar loves snails, so they must be honoured.

5. Never write about the weak nuclear force.