Ran is a god.

He takes the form of a small, humorless fly.

Ran created the Sun nine million years ago.

If you believe in Ran, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Ran, he will make you grow a tail.

Ran's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Ran's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if four goats approach from the south.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of titanium.

3. Hide from white grasshopers for they are unholy.

4. Ran must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Always treat badgers with great respect.