Quafhoglan is a god.
He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, dishonourable zebra.
Quafhoglan created the planet Jupiter eight billion years ago.
If you believe in Quafhoglan, he will grant you three wishes.
If you do not believe in Quafhoglan, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.
Quafhoglan's most sacred site is Manna in Greece.
Quafhoglan's Holy Commandments1. Never play with disobedient children.
2. Respect your elders.
3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.
4. Never think about nebulae.
5. Always wear purple.