Padflanbot Yarratster is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, omniscient centipede.

Padflanbot Yarratster created a bottom quark eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Padflanbot Yarratster, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Padflanbot Yarratster, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Padflanbot Yarratster's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Padflanbot Yarratster's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Padflanbot Yarratster.

2. You must never eat lentils.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Never pour water over plants.