Xemfotgub is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, ruthless mink.

Xemfotgub created an electron seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Xemfotgub, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Xemfotgub, it will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Xemfotgub's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Xemfotgub's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the west.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. You must never eat carrots.

4. Retreat if three eagles approach from the south.

5. Never eat lentils.