Fumpomfum is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, unthinking spider.

Fumpomfum created a charm quark six billion years ago.

If you believe in Fumpomfum, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Fumpomfum, he will send minions to preach to you.

Fumpomfum's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Fumpomfum's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your chest.

2. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Do not drink alcohol.