Lagdadtoncab is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, vain shark.

Lagdadtoncab created silver four billion years ago.

If you believe in Lagdadtoncab, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Lagdadtoncab, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Lagdadtoncab's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Lagdadtoncab's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear boots.

2. Run away from purple gulls, for they are unholy.

3. You must love Lagdadtoncab.

4. Always look after injured geese.

5. Never eat green fruit.