Wotgetkom is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, temperamental newt.

Wotgetkom created matter two million years ago.

If you believe in Wotgetkom, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Wotgetkom, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Wotgetkom's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Wotgetkom's Holy Commandments

1. Never sing in holy places.

2. Always help sick sharks.

3. Hide if seven voles approach from the west.

4. Do not kill snakes.

5. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.