Canlargnurt is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, vain unicorn.

Canlargnurt created the planet Mars four years ago.

If you believe in Canlargnurt, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Canlargnurt, it will try to impress you with trees.

Canlargnurt's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Canlargnurt's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not eat peanuts.