Podnuttdit Paglamgon is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, clever ant.

Podnuttdit Paglamgon created the universe three billion years ago.

If you believe in Podnuttdit Paglamgon, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Podnuttdit Paglamgon, he will manifest in front of you.

Podnuttdit Paglamgon's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Podnuttdit Paglamgon's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate squirrels.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Always make sure there are no sharks in a room before entering it.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Retreat if eight voles approach from the south.