Labhamhab is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, egotistical mole.

Labhamhab created silver eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Labhamhab, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Labhamhab, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Labhamhab's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Labhamhab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat peas.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. You must love Labhamhab.

4. Always help sick tortoises.

5. Do not drink water in red rooms.