Cutlatcet Vabluncar is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, slow chicken.

Cutlatcet Vabluncar created time and space three billion years ago.

If you believe in Cutlatcet Vabluncar, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Cutlatcet Vabluncar, she will make you grow a tail.

Cutlatcet Vabluncar's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Cutlatcet Vabluncar's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about black holes.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.