Tankimzen is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, strong salamander.

Tankimzen created Asia four million years ago.

If you believe in Tankimzen, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Tankimzen, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Tankimzen's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Tankimzen's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Always help sick geese.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Never talk about comets.

5. Do not cook food in pots.