Tagquagtargpom is a god.

He takes the form of a small, confident crow.

Tagquagtargpom created the planet Mars eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Tagquagtargpom, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Tagquagtargpom, he will turn you into a duck.

Tagquagtargpom's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Tagquagtargpom's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate snakes.

2. Never think ill of sick foxes.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Do not shave your arms.

5. Always help dolphins in need.