Fatfigbifbonmabbarnfarn Xemflapnurl is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, compassionate camel.

Fatfigbifbonmabbarnfarn Xemflapnurl created a quark eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Fatfigbifbonmabbarnfarn Xemflapnurl, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Fatfigbifbonmabbarnfarn Xemflapnurl, she will turn you into a giant slug.

Fatfigbifbonmabbarnfarn Xemflapnurl's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Fatfigbifbonmabbarnfarn Xemflapnurl's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate monkeys.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Fatfigbifbonmabbarnfarn Xemflapnurl.

3. Never eat coconuts.

4. Feed all hungry swans.

5. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.