Gonzodlag is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, unfair otter.

Gonzodlag created the Sombrero Galaxy nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Gonzodlag, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Gonzodlag, she will manifest in front of you.

Gonzodlag's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Gonzodlag's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Never think ill of sick geese.

3. Gonzodlag loves doves, so they must be honoured.

4. Never eat grapes.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate gulls.