Kanpanquat is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, charitable warg.

Kanpanquat created a quark two billion years ago.

If you believe in Kanpanquat, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Kanpanquat, it will turn you into a goat.

Kanpanquat's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Kanpanquat's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick cats.

2. Never sing in the presence of seals.

3. Always treat birds with great respect.

4. Always help gulls.

5. Never feed beans to moths while wearing orange shirts.