Gepmippopquaftifmutpadvag is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, compassionate crab.

Gepmippopquaftifmutpadvag created light eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gepmippopquaftifmutpadvag, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Gepmippopquaftifmutpadvag, he will not care at all.

Gepmippopquaftifmutpadvag's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Gepmippopquaftifmutpadvag's Holy Commandments

1. Gepmippopquaftifmutpadvag must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Always make sure there are no frogs in a building before entering it.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Do not eat strawberries.