Yattjapbam is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, wise dugong.

Yattjapbam created dark matter three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yattjapbam, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Yattjapbam, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Yattjapbam's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Yattjapbam's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Always obey Yattjapbam's priests.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Yattjapbam.

4. Do not hurt seals.

5. Never think about the weak nuclear force.