Tikbograk is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, sage monkey.

Tikbograk created silver five million years ago.

If you believe in Tikbograk, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Tikbograk, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Tikbograk's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Tikbograk's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about amino acids.

2. Never talk about ants.

3. Run away if nine hamsters approach from the north.

4. Always help foxes.

5. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.