Bassispop is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, ill-tempered turtle.

Bassispop created the cosmos five billion years ago.

If you believe in Bassispop, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Bassispop, he will turn you into a mole.

Bassispop's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Bassispop's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

2. Never go into orange rooms.

3. Always look after injured shrews.

4. Bassispop loves voles, so they must be honoured.

5. Never think ill of sick doves.