Lencimpak is a god.

She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, selfish squid.

Lencimpak created dark energy eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Lencimpak, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Lencimpak, she will turn you into a giant slug.

Lencimpak's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Lencimpak's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry grasshopers.

2. Do not eat grapes.

3. Never bounce in holy places.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Do not speak about garlic.