Fonkikwod is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, tranquil jackal.

Fonkikwod created vertebrates six million years ago.

If you believe in Fonkikwod, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Fonkikwod, it will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Fonkikwod's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Fonkikwod's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear pink clothing.

2. Feed all hungry pigs.

3. Do not trade with those who eat tomatoes.

4. Do not take Fonkikwod's name in vain.

5. Never wear fawn shorts.