Sigbarnmis is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, amazing penguin.

Sigbarnmis created the Small Magellanic Cloud nine million years ago.

If you believe in Sigbarnmis, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Sigbarnmis, he will turn you into a rat.

Sigbarnmis' most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Sigbarnmis' Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat pineapples.

2. Always look after injured goats.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Always make sure there are no nematodes in a room before entering it.

5. Never go into cyan rooms.