Sigtabvonk Cudmotdun is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, annoying badger.

Sigtabvonk Cudmotdun created humankind eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sigtabvonk Cudmotdun, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Sigtabvonk Cudmotdun, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Sigtabvonk Cudmotdun's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Sigtabvonk Cudmotdun's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured porpoises.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Hide from black frogs for they are unholy.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Worship no other gods but Sigtabvonk Cudmotdun.